No, it isn’t strange. It is not by choice. It is by parental or social pressure.
It is a reflection of oppression of women in India – the lack of freedom. Love marriages are a sign of women taking their own decisions and being responsible for their lives.
The pressure on the couple in love is what forces them to elope or breakup. If there was broader acceptance of love marriages, they could take a mature, responsible decision about their lives after some years of courtship.
Love marriages in India are not a result of met-at-singles-bar encounter. It is a women’s empowerment issue. Couples meet in school/college/work or are a neighbor. To trivialize it as adolescent infatuation shows lack of understanding of ground realities in India.
Women suffer female infanticide, malnutrition, illiteracy,
child marriages, dowry, domestic violence, honor killings in India.
And the first decision they take independently
to love a man who loves & treats her with respect
it is ‘judged’ with the highest standards of successful marriage
Baby steps in the path of women’s empowerment is treated with disdain by traditionalists and psuedo-intellectuals alike. There is no claim for the success of love marriages, only to its ability to deal with the aftermath if it fails.
Here are some researched data about Indian marriages – 90% being arranged marriages.
Social crimes encouraged by arranged marriages
1. Traditional marriages have domestic violence. It is just that they are not reported for the same ‘social pressures’ that forced them in to arranged marriages. At least in a ‘love’ marriage one can get out of that hell with ‘divorce’. Divorce rate being high is a healthy sign. It is not a failure of love marriage.
2. Child marriages happen as a result of “traditional” arranged marriages by parents as per ICRW reports – the reasons clearly mentioned below.
– 47% of marriages are below 18 years – it up to 60% in some states.
On can understand the impact of child marriages on women’s literacy and later their ability to get out of troubled marriages to live independently.
Please click on images or references if you cannot read the text.
3. The practice of dowry is followed in arranged marriages – although illegal – this happens in all marriages – rich and poor. This practice results in dowry deaths – bride burning, emotional blackmail etc. Aren’t divorces better than deaths ?
4. Most of Indians have not met their partners before marriage. These are blind marriages.
This is primarily a result of arranged marriage. It is hardly possible to ‘love’ a person without meeting him.
It is futile arguing that ‘not meeting your partner’ has the same success rate as ‘meeting your partner’.
Young India should take responsibility for their life, rather than burden their parents financially (it comes from their retirement funds) or emotionally (make them feel guilty if things don’t work out). Your parents deserve a peaceful retirement.